Last night, my buddy Leamy and I hooked up (yes, in THAT way) at Rocky's, the local, slightly divey, bar and grill located 9 feet from the front door of my office, for cocktails. Dara rolled in for a beer, as did my pal/officemate Rob. It was crowded as fuck for Monday Night Football, a ritual whose allure completely evades me, but we managed to find space at a corner table and scream out some conversation.

Dara was the first to peel off, and soon Leamy had to jump ship, so Rob and I became locked in conversation about "what comedy is". Heady subject, interesting opinions were being expressed, and then...

A BIG mutherfucking barfight.

This completely blitzed biker tackled a bar regular, knocking over every stick of furniture in the place....except for our table. The place emptied and these morons rolled around on broken beer bottles and glasses, never once disturbing our table. I mean, the entire floor was empty save for us, as we remained motionless and casually finishing our drinks. Surreal. Then Rob looks up at me, and with impeccable delivery, says, "Lou, where ya been? I'm getting my ass kicked all over the place!", a hat-tipping quote to one of our shared favorite movies, Back to School.

As the fight died down, I stood, walked to the bar, settled the tab and tipped Sheri the bartender heavily, casually striding across the bloody, beer-smeared floor of the bar and towards my car.