I'd vowed to myself 2 things in the last week:
1. Change my road bike's innertube in less than 10 minutes (done).
2. Successfully fold a fitted sheet into a smooth, creased square or rectangle (not so done)
So yesterday, I spent the better part of 30 minutes trying to fold a fitted sheet. Seriously. I wrestled with my four cornered foe, grabbing the seams at the corners, attempting to create a line straight down the length of the sheet.
No dice.
I reached back in my memory, in an effort to recall dear old Mom's technique. Her fitted sheets were folded so taught that Marine colorguard regularly visited our linen closet. An image struck: I put my hands up inside the corner pockets and tucked one into the other. Success! Unfortunately, when I reached down to do the same with the bottom 2 corners, the top 2 fell like lumps of custard into a toilet.
Fine. I caved and went to the internet and unearthed this s'umbitch . It even included pictures in it's step-by-step explanation, written for 3rd grade level, pot-smoking chimps. Ha ha!
Currently, my fitted sheet is sitting atop his fitted brethren, each of them wadded into large, wrinkled masses.
Maybe I can get my bike's innertube changed in less than 5 minutes?
1. Change my road bike's innertube in less than 10 minutes (done).
2. Successfully fold a fitted sheet into a smooth, creased square or rectangle (not so done)
So yesterday, I spent the better part of 30 minutes trying to fold a fitted sheet. Seriously. I wrestled with my four cornered foe, grabbing the seams at the corners, attempting to create a line straight down the length of the sheet.
No dice.
I reached back in my memory, in an effort to recall dear old Mom's technique. Her fitted sheets were folded so taught that Marine colorguard regularly visited our linen closet. An image struck: I put my hands up inside the corner pockets and tucked one into the other. Success! Unfortunately, when I reached down to do the same with the bottom 2 corners, the top 2 fell like lumps of custard into a toilet.
Fine. I caved and went to the internet and unearthed this s'umbitch . It even included pictures in it's step-by-step explanation, written for 3rd grade level, pot-smoking chimps. Ha ha!
Currently, my fitted sheet is sitting atop his fitted brethren, each of them wadded into large, wrinkled masses.
Maybe I can get my bike's innertube changed in less than 5 minutes?
3 Comments:
At 10:26 AM,
Renee said…
"Fold lengthwise in thirds, or to your desired size."
Now that's spontaneity!
At 2:45 PM,
Anonymous said…
shouldn't you be worried about saving the world or something?
Might be easier :)
At 11:56 AM,
Anonymous said…
a wadded up ball of 150 thread count is how i grew up. i think realsimple fudged the actual end results of the fitted sheet folding demonstration and i plan on getting to the bottom of this forgery!
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