I've been on a couple of pitches this past week, one at ABC Family, the other yesterday at nickelodeon, so I've been kinda swamped prepping for those and doing the pitching, but catching y'all up: We aren't going to Ireland. I know - sniff - but financially, it's not the smartest move. Good news? We're getting leigh-ed! Yes, dear, bored, desperate web-surfers, Hawaii calls our names...literally. Just listen for a sec..................................hear it?.........wait.................there!...no.........

We're getting together a 6 day plan, but last night we were all "fuck it! Let's just lay on a beach somewhere!", and then we we're all, 'Yeah!" and Dara's like, Uh huhn!" and I'm, "Cha!". Then we slapped each other across the asses and went to bed at 9:30.

Man, ass-slapping is fun! Seriously. I think it's more entertaining as the guy, to be honest. Girls, you must unnerstand: Your asses plea with us daily to lay a nice, hard crack across 'em, and we don't know why. Some moreso than others. Me? I like a nice, round piece of real estate, call it a bubble ass if you'd like, to give me the resonating "Smmmmack!" that I seek.

Wow, I am caffeinated. I just spent 5 minutes espousing spankings.

Shit. My cup's empty. Bye -