...they tell us, "Better listen to the voice of reason",
but they don't give us any choice, 'cause they think that it's treason.
So you had better do what you are told.
You'd better listen to your radio."
- Elvis Costello
Hell-bent in my masochistic ways, I've pre-programmed KERTH 101, the Los Angeles oldies station, into my car stereo settings, and I have a few questions for the programmers of these stations:
1. Were there only 20 songs recorded between 1955 (the approximated birth of rock and roll) and 1970 (the year that seems to be the cutoff for "oldies" wherein they are moved into the "classic rock" category)? One would assume so, because I - and other listeners- are subjected to "Mony Mony" and "Do Wa Diddy" more often than we should be during the day.
2. Who the FUCK even likes "Doo Wa diddy" or "Mony Mony"? I mean, besides drunken dipshits in bars who love to sing the echo "Looks good!...looks fine!", or better yet, scream the hilarious frat house improv, "Get laid, get fucked!".
3. THE BEATLES RECORDED MORE SONGS THAN "SHE LOVES YOU" AND "I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND", DUMBASSES. In fact, they recorded *29* albums before your cutoff of 1971. Maybe they're hard to hear with your heads jammed so FAR UP YOUR ASSES THAT YOU CAN SEE THROUGH YOUR NAVELS.
I. Hate. Radio.
That is all.
but they don't give us any choice, 'cause they think that it's treason.
So you had better do what you are told.
You'd better listen to your radio."
- Elvis Costello
Hell-bent in my masochistic ways, I've pre-programmed KERTH 101, the Los Angeles oldies station, into my car stereo settings, and I have a few questions for the programmers of these stations:
1. Were there only 20 songs recorded between 1955 (the approximated birth of rock and roll) and 1970 (the year that seems to be the cutoff for "oldies" wherein they are moved into the "classic rock" category)? One would assume so, because I - and other listeners- are subjected to "Mony Mony" and "Do Wa Diddy" more often than we should be during the day.
2. Who the FUCK even likes "Doo Wa diddy" or "Mony Mony"? I mean, besides drunken dipshits in bars who love to sing the echo "Looks good!...looks fine!", or better yet, scream the hilarious frat house improv, "Get laid, get fucked!".
3. THE BEATLES RECORDED MORE SONGS THAN "SHE LOVES YOU" AND "I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND", DUMBASSES. In fact, they recorded *29* albums before your cutoff of 1971. Maybe they're hard to hear with your heads jammed so FAR UP YOUR ASSES THAT YOU CAN SEE THROUGH YOUR NAVELS.
I. Hate. Radio.
That is all.
2 Comments:
At 3:21 PM,
Anonymous said…
Radio does in fact suck, if not an actual ass, then something at least ass-like.
The good news is that people seem to be running from radio in droves... over to the new satalite radio services. There they are allowed to PAY $20 a month for those same 20 oldies songs, including, and pretty much limited to, "Doo Wa diddy" and/or "Mony Mony". I wonder what the satalite radio marketing executives think I should have for lunch...
Oh, and the bad news is the Rapture is late and these fuckers are still here.
At 12:03 AM,
Anonymous said…
If you were a ninja, as your's truly, you would make a pledge to yourself and only listen to that one station for the entire month of February.
I challange you!
How many Supremes songs does it take to break Rusty? That's what I want to find out.
And February is the shortest month of the year so you'd really be a pansy if you didn't try.
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