It's time. Time to dash backward to a mystical, magical year: Nineteen hundred and eighty seven.
This was the beginning of my senior year of high school. I remember this because....well, I graduated in 1988, so it just makes sense, doesn't it?
Christ, you really should start thinking for yourself.
Enrolled in Development Of Western Thought (D.O.W.T. - GET IT?), an uber advanced-advanced English/history hybrid class, I discovered something about myself that I'd long suspected: I am a fucking lazy retard. This class was so intense, so dense with information, that I resorted to the coward's way out, which was to squeek by with a C and drop down to plain advanced English the following semester. Of course, coming in at semester break into a brand-new class, I was faaaaaar behind any work that they'd already put a start to. So there I was, a fucking lazy retard, again, smack dab in the middle of having to hustle off my ass to survive.
Sadly, I did not.
I failed this cocksucker with guns blazing. See, in the first semester for this class - the one that I hadn't attended - everyone read "The Canterbury Tales" (if you haven't read it yourself, I suggest buying a beer and praising Jebus that you never put yourself through that shitstorm). In the 2nd semester, the one that I was attending, we were required to write a 20 page paper on it. Yes, on a book I hadn't yet read.
You see where this is going, right?
Luckily, I had taken a "blow off course" that semester that took us on twelve, TWELVE, field trips around Chicago over the course of three months. This class covered my English credit for the semester, so (cue "Louie Louie") I shoved the gearshift into full-fuckoff-overdrive and raced towards the finish line.
Here's a pic of me at senior prom.
With me is my pal Amy Sue Weigreff, a North Carolina-born-and-bred 20 year old actress who I'd done a bunch of children's plays with. We were just friends, nothing else going on, which is good, because at my prom, she picked up on one of the teachers who was chaperoning and banged him a few days later.
Way to go Amy Sue!
This was the beginning of my senior year of high school. I remember this because....well, I graduated in 1988, so it just makes sense, doesn't it?
Christ, you really should start thinking for yourself.
Enrolled in Development Of Western Thought (D.O.W.T. - GET IT?), an uber advanced-advanced English/history hybrid class, I discovered something about myself that I'd long suspected: I am a fucking lazy retard. This class was so intense, so dense with information, that I resorted to the coward's way out, which was to squeek by with a C and drop down to plain advanced English the following semester. Of course, coming in at semester break into a brand-new class, I was faaaaaar behind any work that they'd already put a start to. So there I was, a fucking lazy retard, again, smack dab in the middle of having to hustle off my ass to survive.
Sadly, I did not.
I failed this cocksucker with guns blazing. See, in the first semester for this class - the one that I hadn't attended - everyone read "The Canterbury Tales" (if you haven't read it yourself, I suggest buying a beer and praising Jebus that you never put yourself through that shitstorm). In the 2nd semester, the one that I was attending, we were required to write a 20 page paper on it. Yes, on a book I hadn't yet read.
You see where this is going, right?
Luckily, I had taken a "blow off course" that semester that took us on twelve, TWELVE, field trips around Chicago over the course of three months. This class covered my English credit for the semester, so (cue "Louie Louie") I shoved the gearshift into full-fuckoff-overdrive and raced towards the finish line.
Here's a pic of me at senior prom.
With me is my pal Amy Sue Weigreff, a North Carolina-born-and-bred 20 year old actress who I'd done a bunch of children's plays with. We were just friends, nothing else going on, which is good, because at my prom, she picked up on one of the teachers who was chaperoning and banged him a few days later.
Way to go Amy Sue!
