My friend Brian phoned me yesterday and left a message on my cell's voicemail, raising the question: why are we given the option (on most mailbox systems) to page someone on their phone? When was the last time you exercised the "page" option? For that matter, if you were to page me instead of leaving me a message, what signal are you sending? That it is absolutely impossible to put into words on voicemail what it is you need to communicate?

Furthermore, the new Cingular (read: suckass donkeyballs service) mailbox system has you record two outgoing messages. One, as your normal, howdee-doo outgoing message, and the second, a message to alert callers that you're on the other line.

Wait - what happened to "call waiting"? Did we vote it out of existence? I must've missed that meeting.

So, taking the cue that we're going back in time technologically, please click here to view my latest cellphone purchase.